College Athlete Surprised To Learn His School Has Classes
Sports · Aug 12, 2020 · BabylonBee.com

US - Instead of doing what they came to the school to do, college athletes around the country will have to settle for learning things. As conferences are announcing the cancellation of sports this fall, enrolled athletes are coming to the realization that attending college will consist of reading books, listening to lectures, and retaining information they'll use to earn a degree.

Brock Swanson is a junior at Oregon on a full football scholarship. "Apparently, there are people who pay thousands and thousands of dollars to come here and just learn," said Swanson. "Not only do they not play sports, but they're paying to not play sports. That's crazy!"

Many college athletes have requested extra help finding classrooms and obtaining textbooks, something many of them have never had to do. Some were surprised to learn that classes do not involve whistles, running, and do not employ an athletic trainer.

"I saw some people with, like, their own water bottle," said Ohio State running back Phil Gray. "Nobody was squirting it into their mouth for them. They had to just drink it themselves. It was weird."

Administration and faculty at colleges where sports are being shut down are expecting to have to deal with the strangeness of having athletes in the classroom. One common change among schools is the addition of "No Tackling" signs posted in the lecture halls.


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