In Show Of Solidarity, COVID-19 Vows Not To Infect Anyone Protesting Inequality
Health · Jun 4, 2020 · BabylonBee.com

U.S. - In a powerful show of solidarity with the Black Lives Matter movement, COVID-19 has vowed not to infect anyone protesting inequality.

The official COVID-19 account tweeted out, "In solidarity with those protesting inequality, I hereby vow not to infect anyone at BLM rallies."

"We need to take a moment to pause and hear what these people are saying," the virus said in a statement. "All infectious activities will be put on hiatus until Republicans start protesting lockdowns or second amendment issues -- then we will resume."

"It wouldn't be fair for us to continue business as usual when liberals want to protest."

The virus vowed to stay put in infected individuals, lying dormant until the pandemic became convenient for the media to cover once again.

It also posted a black square on its Instagram account.

A Babylon Bee subscriber contributed to this report. If you want to pitch your own headline ideas to our staff, click here to check out all of our membership options!

Ready to join the conversation? Subscribe today.

Access comments and our fully-featured social platform.

Sign up Now

You must signup or login to view or post comments on this article.