REDWOOD CITY, CA—Beloved game company Electronic Arts has announced that in their next Star Wars: Battlefront game, they will be adding some very special features to encourage responsible behavior during the pandemic. In order to unlock playable characters like Darth Vader, players will be required to prove they have received the COVID vaccine.
"As a much-beloved mega-corporation, we realized we had great power to enforce proper vaccination among our loyal fans," said CEO Andrew Wilson. "We know what's best for you. This is for your own good. Submit. And have fun playing our award-winning game!"
EA's vaccine enforcement efforts are just the latest in a trend of powerful corporations partnering with the government to promote public health, enforce speech codes, and rule the citizens.
Starbucks has joined the effort as well, promising to deny whipped cream and caramel drizzle to customers who aren't properly vaccinated.
EA has also confirmed that players will also be required to upload their Twitter history to unlock Boba Fett.