ORLANDO, FL — In what some are calling a final act of desperation, Florida Governor Ron DeSantis visited Orlando's world-famous Gatorland, the alligator capital of the world, where he proceeded to wrestle an alligator in a shocking bid to bring attention to his presidential campaign.
"You know, a ton of people have said I could never wrestle an alligator all by myself, but you know what? We don't listen to woke naysayers like that in Florida," said DeSantis to a cheering crowd. "Come 'ere, ya, little gator!"
DeSantis and the gator, later identified as Buddy, wrestled before a crowd of supporters in place of a previously planned rally in New Hampshire.
Political experts are divided on whether the daring act was a stroke of political genius or if the 13-foot 8-inch alligator would gobble up his political ambitions.
"I'm not sure what the strategy is here," MNBC's Rachel Maddow said on her show. "Why would New Hampshire voters care about him wrestling an alligator at some amusement park back in Florida?"
In contrast, Fox News' Sean Hannity praised the event, referring to it as high-level political strategy. "Yippee! The mad lad did it! He wrestled a gator! Hot dog!" Hannity said.
After subduing the gator, DeSantis continued to wow supporters by sitting on Buddy's back, pulling the beast's head up toward his chest, and holding the powerful jaws shut with his chin. DeSantis then mugged for the crowd while occasionally shouting "Crikey!" — an homage to the late Steve Irwin, star of the hit TV show Crocodile Hunter.
At publishing time, the success of DeSantis' political maneuver compelled Nikki Haley to wrestle a badger.
Citing concerns about stiff competition from Amazon and an impossible-to-please Gen Z, Santa has announced he's hanging up the hat for good.
