WASHINGTON, D.C. — In an attempt to connect with millennial voters, Vice President Kamala Harris held a press conference in which she compared Donald Trump to the Dark Lord Voldemort.
Though Harris had previously carried on the Democratic tradition of comparing Trump to Adolf Hitler, her campaign staff advised her to choose a historical figure who would be more recognizable to younger voters.
"An aid to former President Trump has said he once heard Trump say ‘I wish I had some of those Death Eaters, the ones Voldemort had in Harry Potter.' Can you believe that?" Harris alleged during the two-minute press conference. "He went on to say — and I quote — ‘I really like the way those Death Eaters got those little tattoos on their arms and could summon Voldemort whenever they wanted. I want to be like Voldemort. I like that guy. Very powerful.' Those were the actual words he said."
Harris delivered her remarks in a two-and-a-half-minute scripted speech, comparing Trump to Voldemort and saying the former president had also expressed a desire to hunt Mudbloods and destroy the Chosen One.
"Donald Trump said he'd be The Dark Lord on day one," Harris asserted. "He wasn't joking. We cannot allow a man who admires the dark evolution of Tom Riddle. This is a threat to democracy, occlumency, Defense Against the Dark Arts, and divination. We cannot allow this man to be president. When he tells you he wants to become He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named... believe him."
At publishing time, Harris had also compared Trump to Sauron in an effort to appeal to loners and Dungeons & Dragons enthusiasts.
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