PORTLAND, OR — Sources close to Warming Hearts Therapy confirmed that Marc Vistus, a chronic narcissist who has been attending therapy sessions for the last 24 years, just asked his analyst how he managed to get so wrapped up in himself even though he spends multiple hours a week talking about himself.

According to Bradley Noam, Marc's analyst, Marc was completely befuddled as to how he might have become so self-involved.

"It's like, I go to therapy, I talk about my problems, I think about ways that I can get better...what's wrong with me?" Marc reportedly asked, lying back on one of those psychology couches with his hands behind his head. "Despite spending a huge part of my week worrying about myself and talking to you about what's going on with me, I'm still super-self-involved and narcissistic. What's going on here?"

Marc also complained that he consistently suffers from mental health problems, even though he's always on Instagram watching reels about mental diseases and the problems of mental health in America.

At publishing time, Marc's therapist had confirmed that the best solution for Marc to improve was for him to continue scheduling therapy sessions until the problem went away.

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