Housewarming Party Kicks Off With Land Acknowledgement For The Johnsons Who Lived There Since 2019

WARWICK, RI — A housewarming party for the Banning family reportedly started with a powerful land acknowledgment statement honoring the Johnson family who had previously lived in the home since 2019.

"We, the Bannings, hereby acknowledge that the Johnson family, including David, Sheila, Melissa, and little Billy, have acted as stewards of this land since 2019," said family patriarch Michael Banning. "We honor and respect the enduring relationship that exists between these peoples following the close of ESCROW."

Following the somber statement, the Bannings led their guests in a six-minute moment of silence, one minute for each of the years the Johnsons called 3823 Vernon Street their home. Housewarming gifts were then thrown into the fire as a sacrifice to the memory of the Johnsons, who had moved to Hawaii.

Partygoers praised the Bannings for their progressive acknowledgement of the Johnsons, but admitted the party was a bit of a downer. "I bought them a toaster and they threw it into a fire and performed a rain dance," said one guest. "I don't really understand why they did that."

According to sources, the land acknowledgement was transcribed onto a plaque and placed outside the home so that all visitors would know that the home previously belonged to the Johnsons. The United States Postal Service has reportedly found the plaque confusing and still deliver the Johnsons' mail there to this day.

At publishing time, the Banning family had felt compelled to pay reparations to the Johnsons after they learned they were African Americans.

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