CORONA, CA—According to sources close to the Manning residence, local mother Linda Manning spent over five hours cleaning her two-story home Monday. She painstakingly cleaned the kitchen, picked up toys all over the house, and found dishes and clothing in random spots all over the house.
Finally, she declared the house to be completely spotless.
But, sadly, her home was then completely destroyed by her three kids in a little under fourteen seconds.
The children realized the home was clean and declared they wouldn't stand for it. "Not on our watch," said Calvin Manning, 4. "Destroy! Destroy! Destroy!" Working with the speed of the Looney Tunes' Tasmanian Devil, the Manning children charged through the house, doing their best to undo literally everything their mom had done for the entire day. They pillaged and plundered like a horde of Dothraki warriors, pulling toys off shelves, throwing suspicious substances on every possible surface, and pouring a bunch of half-cups of juice and leaving them all over the house.
At publishing time, Manning was starting the process all over again.
Breaking: PayPal Now Available
Many of you told us you wouldn't subscribe until we offered PayPal as a payment option. You apparently weren't bluffing, so we finally caved and added PayPal. Now — like the unbeliever faced with God's invisible qualities displayed in nature — you are without excuse.