Politics
House Hears Testimony From Renowned, Unbiased Legal Scholar Hillga Clintonheimer

WASHINGTON, D.C.—In an effort to prove that impeachment is constitutionally sound and definitely not a politically motivated circus performance, Rep. Jerrold Nadler called on his final witness of the day: renowned legal scholar Hillga Clintonheimer. 

Dr. Clintonheimer teaches at Lund University in Sweden. The legal scholar was flown out by the Judiciary Committee to give her expert testimony this morning as impeachment hearings resumed.

"This Donald Trump of yours, yah, he is very corrupt, yah, and you should impeach him, yah?" she began, drawing applause from the Democrats on the panel. "He is, how you Americans say, very bad man, ya?"

"I think we've heard enough. It's clear from the testimony of this legal expert that we should impeach. All in favor?" Nadler said. But just then, Clintonheimer stood up to go, and her vaguely European-looking scarf fell from her head, revealing that the woman was actually Hillary Clinton in disguise.

"You'll never take me alive!" she cried, pulling a revolver from her purse and pointing it frantically out of the room as she backed away slowly. She broke into a run and dove into a waiting SUV, which narrowly escaped congressional security staff.

Clinton previously found herself in hot water after posing as White House janitor Hillarita Clintonez.

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