Homeschool Moms Unionize, Demand Minimum Three Hours Sleep

U.S.—Inspired by teachers' unions, homeschooling moms nationwide have decided to unionize and demand safer working conditions. Their primary demand is that they receive a minimum of three hours of sleep per day.

“We think this is a reasonable demand,” said Sally Walsh, a homeschooling mother and one of the organizers. “It just means everyone is going to have to cooperate and pick up after themselves.”

There was immediate pushback. “She wants me to clean my room every day?” said Tommy, a child. “That’s insane. And do these three hours of sleep mean I can’t just come wake her in the middle of the night because I decided I want a glass of water? No deal.”

Homeschooling moms are saying if their demands aren’t met, they will go on strike from basic services, such as cooking. “That has to be a bluff,” said Brian Walsh, a husband. “I mean, I don’t know what kids eat; if it were left up to me, we’d all starve. She’d have killed us all.”

As strike time draws near, husbands and children do seem to be leaning toward acquiescing to the demands, but some fear that giving in may just lead to other demands such as no whining, everyone keeping track of their own shoes, and bathroom breaks without company. “You don’t want to set a precedent that we can be reasonable,” said Lucy, a child.

Babylon Bee subscriber Sarah Fleming contributed to this report. If you want to get involved with the staff writers at The Babylon Bee, check out our membership options here!
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