PARIS — Homeless vagrant Jean-Michel de Beauvoir won the coveted Palme d'Louvre award for Best in Fashion after stumbling onto the stage during Paris Fashion Week during a Balenciaga show.
"This is the greatest day of my life," said de Beauvoir, as he was escorted away by security. "I always knew all this dumpster diving would pay off someday."
Despite learning that de Beauvoir wasn't actually a model, the judges stood by their decision. "This man dresses in a way that is ahead of his time," said Vogue Editor-in-Chief Anna Wintour. "What he's wearing is Balenciaga if I've ever seen it."
"This is beauty. This is art. This is Yeezy," said rapper and fashion mogul Kanye West, peering from behind two eye holes he had cut in the cardboard box he was wearing.
Not all in the industry were on board with the decision. Some critics argued that the award should be rescinded. "If this award stands," said Balenciaga celebrity endorser Kim Kardashian, "people will continue to have the false belief that the fashion industry is filled with frauds who sell overpriced clothes that look like they came out of a dumpster! Also, now I have to scrap my entire next collection, which was going to be dumpster-chic."
De Beauvoir is expected to walk in tomorrow's Louis Vuitton show. His appearance is in question, however, as de Beauvoir is wanted in several robberies and kidnappings.
Citing concerns about stiff competition from Amazon and an impossible-to-please Gen Z, Santa has announced he's hanging up the hat for good.
