Homeless Man Whisked Out Of View Of Cameras At Elevation Church Service
Ministries · Sep 16, 2017 · BabylonBee.com

CHARLOTTE, NC - A middle-aged homeless man who attempted to sit in the front row at Elevation Church's Sunday service was quickly whisked away by security in order to ensure he would not be seen on the church's social media videos and bring shame and embarrassment upon the ministry, several witnesses confirmed.

The man had reportedly come into the service hoping for a cup of coffee, and somehow made it past security and all the way up to the front of the sanctuary, right in the scope of view of the church's state-of-the-art cameras.

"We'd like to remind all attendees that only those in fine dress should attempt to sit in the first ten rows, where our video equipment can see you," Pastor Steven Furtick told the congregation after the incident. "If the outfit you're wearing was purchased before last month and didn't cost several hundred dollars minimum, not including the shoes, obviously, it's the back row or the overflow room for you, OK guys? Thanks a bunch for your help."

"It's nothing personal. Poor people in shabby clothing just don't fit well with our brand image, so they can stand over there in the back," he added. "We want to offer God our very best."

At publishing time, an attractive man in expensive-looking, trendy clothing had been upgraded to front-row seating to fill the vacant spot.

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