TYLER, TX — Local man Ryan Jennings discovered today that the hole in his heart was actually in the precise shape of a seven-ton mini-excavator.
Upon his ascension into the cab and first feel of the controls, Jennings suddenly felt as if the missing puzzle piece in his life had suddenly clicked into place.
"All my life, I've been chasing after so many different things, trying to fill this min-excavator-shaped void in my heart," said Jennings. "Alcohol, girls, money. I went through relationship after relationship, trying to find something that would satisfy me. Nothing worked. No matter what I did, there was always this discontent and longing...a longing for a bucket and boom controlled by two joysticks."
According to family members, Jennings has undergone a dramatic change after running a seven-ton mini-excavator. "There's this light in his eyes that was missing for so long," said Jennings' brother, Steve. "Ryan has this new peace about him, which is so amazing to see. It's like he's whole again."
At publishing time, Jennings had decided that perhaps the hole in his heart was just a little bigger, maybe more like a full-size excavator.
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