Historical Dig Suggests Jesus Used Custom Blend Of Essential Oils To Raise Lazarus From The Dead
· Jul 1, 2019 · BabylonBee.com

BETHANY - Archeologists have discovered what may be the essential oils kit Jesus used to raise Lazarus from the dead in the book of John. A large dogwood essential oils carrying-case was discovered near the area believed to be the site where Christ performed the miracle. The case had 50 slots, some still containing the amber glass bottles with orifice reducer drip attachments and child-proof dropper tops with residue from a variety of essential oils.

"What combination of oils Christ used is not clear, but what is clear is that essential oils were likely to have been instrumental in the resurrection of Lazarus," said the dig team's foreman Adi Aumann. "This discovery is huge."

Essential oil specialists have already flocked to the site in an attempt to decode the combination Christ used in the miracle. "I think it's pretty obvious Frankincense was involved," Aromatherapist Maria Stark told reporters.

"While this news may cast some doubt on the supernatural powers of Jesus," said DoTerra represntative Justine Schulz, "it confirms something we have believed all along: With the right combination of properly proportioned essential oils, humankind will never die."

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