CHICAGO, IL—A local historian has recently uncovered what is likely to be the greatest conspiracy of all time. Dr. Rachael Darwin, a historian who usually covers boring topics like politics and economics, discovered last week that a group of suburban Chicago housewives invented the charcoal grill in 1950, out of thin air, in order to trick their husbands into cooking every once in a while.
“Women were getting sick of their husbands not doing anything around the house,” Darwin writes in her new book The Charcoal Grill: How Women Finally Tricked Men Into Cooking. “Sure, a lot of men had recently come back from one war and were getting ready to go fight another one, but excuses didn’t fly back then the way they do today. So a group of women met in secret and brainstormed for hours on end, trying to figure out which household chore men were most fit for.”
The women eventually decided men were best fit to cook. This was mostly due to the fact that they were much worse at everything else.
It was the largest gathering of females to date in the greater Chicago area. Six women, all housewives who were sick and tired of cooking every meal of every day, while also completing all the other household chores, sat down and created something that would trick men into cooking. That night, they invented the perfect charcoal grill—though later men would make it even better. The women, being so incredibly uneducated, constructed the grill using an old buoy they had found on the shores of Lake Michigan.
It was late winter 1951 when the first-ever charcoal grill was ready for use. The results were as expected: men happily went outside and felt manly, completely unaware that they had been tricked into doing the woman's job. Women spent the time doing what they love most—cleaning the kitchen, changing diapers, and generally doing all the chores while also taking care of the kids.
In the end, everyone was satisfied, and the world finally came to realize that men cook better than women.
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