CHAPPAQUA, NY—Meet your instructor! MasterClass has announced its latest expert tutor, Hillary Clinton, who will teach a series of lectures about how to lose presidential elections.
"We are honored to welcome Hillary Clinton to our world-class lineup of instructors," said CEO David Rogier. "She is one of the world's foremost in losing so thoroughly and embarrassingly, having lost her presidential races every time she's tried. And now, you will learn how to lose your presidential runs every bit as catastrophically as she did!"
MasterClass has several more Hillary Clinton classes in the works, including:
- How To Collude With The Russians
- How To Murder Your Enemies
- How To Protect Powerful Sex Predators In Service Of Your Political Ambitions
- How To Chug An Entire Bottle Of Wine In 10 Seconds
Rogier hopes this will empower a new generation of young progressives to ruthlessly pursue power at all costs.
In related news, Donald Trump has announced the release of his very own MasterClass, entitled "How to Never Do Anything Wrong, Ever."
The left, celebrities, and athletes will take money from China, but they sure don't like talking about China. Tap your foot to the hit song parody of "We Don't Talk About Bruno"!