WASHINGTON, D.C.—There wasn't much happening in the world today, so Trump simply sat at his desk looking for something to do.
Then he got an idea. Picking up his desk phone, he dialed a number and waited for the man on the other end to pick up.
Meanwhile, Colin Kaepernick was sitting around nervously waiting for his phone to ring at long last. As his ringtone, the USSR anthem, began to play, Kaepernick lunged for the phone and picked up on the first ring. "Hello?" he said, attempting to sound casual.
"Hi, uh, yes, is this a Mr. Kaepernick?" Trump said, stifling laughter.
"Yeah, it's me. Who's this?" Kaepernick said, trying not to get his hopes up.
"This is the Detroit Lions, and we'd love to sign you," Trump said, barely containing his laughter.
"OK, well, I've got a lot of offers so let me talk with my agent and get back to you," Kaepernick said, taking a knee in his joy.
"Yeah, we've got a great franchise here. One of the best. Maybe the best franchise ever. Lots of footballing and throwing. Even some kicking. You'll fit in great here. When can you come for a tryout?" Trump said, the floodgates of laughter ready to burst at any moment.
Kapernick's face fell. "Oh man. Donald Trump, is that you!?"
"Ha! Classic!" Trump said. "You should have heard yourself. 'Let me talk with my agent and get back to you' -- Sad! Fell for it hook, line, and sinker! You're a low-IQ individual!"
This is reportedly the third time Trump has pulled this stunt this week.
At publishing time, Trump was dialing from a different number, planning on pretending to be the Miami Dolphins front office.