BE SAFE. Here's our guide on being prepared for safe and profitable rioting. PLEASE READ
1. LOOK OUT FOR SWEET LOOT. We got purses, we got cell phones, we got cheesecake, shoes, Legos...
2. FOLLOW OTHER RIOTERS INTO STORES. If you just run into a store by yourself you might get shot.
3. HAVE A BUDDY. Those new 4K TVs are freaking heavy man.
4. STAY SAFE -- But also throw bricks at police.
A Babylon Bee subscriber contributed to this report.
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