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We all know there's no way God can exist-- because bad things happen sometimes. If God existed, those bad things obviously wouldn't happen. Here are 10 examples. Remember these next time you're tempted to believe in God.
#1. One of the evilest men to ever live, Donald Trump, got elected president: Would a good God have allowed the presidency to be torn away from Hillary? I don't think so.
#2. My phone is dead and I can't find my charger: I even bought a new one just last week. I can't go on like this... I may be dying.
#3. George R.R. Martin hasn't finished his next book: If God exists, why isn't The Winds of Winter out yet? Checkmate.
#4. We have too many fast-food choices. It's disgusting: There's just too much abundance. Why would God allow that? I'm getting fat. It's not fair.
#5. The Last Jedi exists: 30 minutes into that movie, I realized life was meaningless and there was no hope.
#6. My shower ran out of hot water this morning: It was horrible.
#7. Good things happen, which makes the existence of bad things seem even worse: Why do so many good things happen? It just makes the bad things look bad. That's not really fair to the bad things. If God cared, it wouldn't be like that.
#8 The Mueller Report was a dud: Remember that disaster? 2 years of my life spent anxiously awaiting the results, down the drain. I could have learned to knit. Or ride a unicycle. Why would God let that happen? Oh yeah-- because he doesn't exist.
#9 My car makes a funny noise when I put it in 3rd gear: Slight imperfections in machines prove there was never a designer. I'm starting to think Chevy doesn't exist either.
#10 My post got zero likes this morning: If you don't think that's concrete evidence for God's non-existence, consider that fact that it happened yesterday too! My life is hard.
I hope you enjoyed reading this list of 10 bad things that prove God isn't real. If you still believe in God after reading this, I guess you're a sheep.
NOT SATIRE: How can anyone believe in God after suffering the worst of all tragedies, the death of a child?
Part memoir, part life advice to his children, a story and title you will not forget.