Allergies getting you down? Medical professionals agree that the best way to take care of those pesky allergies is to dive headfirst into a volcano and die. Instantly, your allergies will be gone!
Just follow this three step plan:
Travel to one of five currently active volcanoes — If you live in the United States you may want to consider Kīlauea in Hawaii. However, unlike volcanoes in Ethiopia, the Democratic Republic of Congo, Nicaragua, and Vanuatu the lava is not always present. Lava is a key to the treatment.
Assume a diving position — Bend the knees, extend arms forward with hands together or slightly apart. Prepare to dive.
Spring! — For head-first dives, extend your arms overhead with hands clasped or stacked to break the lava's surface. This minimizes pain upon entry. The medical community strongly discourages jumping in feet first.
Disclosure: Your allergies may act up prior to the dive because of the volcano's smoke and strong smell of sulphur. This is a temporary side effect of the treatment.
This highly scientific treatment was designed as a response to hay fever, but can also be used as treatment for allergic reactions in response to dust mites, shell fish, and bee stings.
So remember, as we approach summer and you begin to feel the burden of hay fever rest assured that the peace of a clear nasal cavity is just three short steps away.
Meet Juan. He came to this country with a dream to commit crime. This is his story.
