Guinness World Records Carefully Monitoring Cuomo And Whitmer For Most Seniors Killed
Politics · Mar 24, 2021 · BabylonBee.com

NEW YORK, NY - The team at Guinness Book of World Records is carefully monitoring to see who will claim the record for 'Most Seniors Killed'. As of now, the competition is neck and neck between Governor Whitmer and Governor Cuomo. 

"While both governors have worked very hard at handling the COVID pandemic as poorly as possible, sadly there can only be one winner," said Guinness Book Of World Records spokesman Kyle Mansfield.

"I can't say enough how hard it must've been during these unprecedented times to turn down outside help and to force Covid patients into nursing homes-- despite the obvious risks." Mansfield continued. "But without their poor leadership and incompetence, I wouldn't have anyone to present this award to."

"So without further ado, I present Governor Andrew Cuomo of New York with the first annual 'Most Seniors Killed' world record," said Mansfield, presenting the award over zoom. 

Governor Whitmer has reportedly complained that this is not fair and that she should at least get the record for "Most Covered Up Killed Seniors."

Inside Guinness Book Of World Records headquarters, they are also eyeing Cuomo for 'Most Accusers of Sexual Harassment as Governor', but too many accusations keep piling in to obtain a final count.


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