Since the prophet Elijah invented satire, there have only been five satirical books ranked the most hilarious, the most pure.
This one leaves them all behind.
How to Be a Perfect Christian: Your Comprehensive Guide to Flawless Spiritual Living has now been unleashed on the earth, a historical event that has already sent shockwaves through the international community: there is peace between the Koreas, a new Avengers movie came out in honor of the historic moment, and small children and animals are all joining hands across the world to sing “God’s Not Dead” in peace and harmony. This is big, people. We’re not saying this is a sign of the apocalypse or anything, but you should definitely be Rapture-ready before picking this bad boy up.
This book teaches you how to pick a church that caters to your needs, join a ministry that gets you tons of glory with minimal effort, and evangelize by beating people over the head with your King James Bible. We will baptize you in the waters of Christian culture, and when you emerge, you’ll have to cover your face with your megachurch’s branded trucker hat so everyone else won’t be blinded by your afterglow.
You can read the first chapter for free here.
BUT EVEN BETTER, go order yourself a copy:
Well, what are you waiting for? Onward, Christian soldiers!