U.S. — The Gideons International, a charitable organization famous for placing Bibles in hotel drawers around the world, has announced a brand new ministry: placing Thomas Sowell books in public school desks in hopes of saving children from a lifetime of economic illiteracy.
"Children around the country are starving for truth under the cruel tutelage of Communist public school teachers," said a spokesperson for the group. "These kids need to know about the benefits of liberty and free trade before it's too late!"
The new venture has proven dangerous, as Gideons must sneak onto school grounds under cover of darkness to place copies of Basic Economics in strategic locations where brainwashed kids will find them. "If you get caught by one of these teachers, your life could be in danger," said one member, "especially if the teacher has blue or pink hair. Those crazies will straight up murder you."
The Gideons International also says that Thomas Sowell can be a gateway drug to reading copies of the Bible. "Once these kids realize what's been hidden from them, they start wondering what other truth they've missed."
At publishing time, the group said they're planning yet another venture to place copies of Tolkien's writings all around Amazon Prime's studios.
Citing concerns about stiff competition from Amazon and an impossible-to-please Gen Z, Santa has announced he's hanging up the hat for good.
