ATLANTA, GA — In yet another stunning move, Fulton County District Attorney Fani Willis has announced the indictment of every Trump voter on charges of conspiracy to elect an election denier.
"Those who engaged in criminal conspiracy to vote for that yucky fart-face Donald Trump will be brought to justice," Willis said as she announced the hundreds of thousands of indictments. "These MAGA voters committed the heinous act of disagreeing with the ruling elites, which threatens the bedrock of democracy itself. In order to keep Donald Trump from regaining power, we must deal with his legion of domestic terrorist voters. No one is above the laws that we made up for this indictment."
Democrats and Republicans alike celebrated the move behind closed doors, agreeing that returning to the status quo of electing leaders who would bathe in corruption and enrich themselves to the detriment of the public was in the best interest of all Georgia residents. "It's time to put Trump behind us," said Governor Brian Kemp. "We suffered for four long years under his reign of peace and prosperity, but those days are now at an end."
When asked how they managed to track down every Trump voter in the state, officials said it only required them to hack into the electronic voting machines to access voter data and create a list of who everyone in the state voted for. "Being able to hack into these machines and manipulate data is an important part of keeping our elections free and fair," Willis explained.
At publishing time, the Biden Administration had reportedly taken notice of the indictments in Georgia and initiated plans to roll out similar indictments on a nationwide scale.
By now the whole internet has heard Ben Shapiro rapping, but did you know that there are actually two more verses they cut out of the track?