Scripture
George Lucas Releases Special Edition Of The Bible Where Malchus Attacks Peter First

U.S.—George Lucas is renowned for his ability to re-release better, much-improved editions of classic films. Everyone loves it when he changes beloved scenes and characters and adds CGI characters to perfectly good scenes.

So, by popular demand, Lucas is applying his formidable skills to the Bible with a special edition of Scripture. Among the many changes will be a scene where Malchus attacks Peter first, justifying Peter's hacking off of the man's ear.

"I wanted to make Peter more of a morally good character and not so conflicted," Lucas said in an interview with The Hollywood Reporter

Some hardcore Bible nerds were offended by the changes, launching a viral "Peter Swung First" campaign.

"This is not my Bible," said Bible geek Jim Calliper, creator of the #NotMyBible hashtag. "There's no reason for Lucas to go meddling with that scene when it was perfect in the originals." Fans have begun petitioning Lucas to reverse the changes, but the filmmaker has purchased all Bible translations and vows never to release the "embarrassing" original cut again.

Holy Bible: Special Edition will be released in time for Easter, followed by tens of thousands of lucrative Bible tie-in merchandise.

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