Genius: Elon Musk Saves 22% On Twitter Executive Salaries By Hiring Female CEO
Internet · May 11, 2023 ·

AUSTIN, TX — In an absolutely genius move, Elon Musk has announced a plan to save at least 22% on Twitter executive salaries by hiring a female CEO.

"This is just another step toward making Twitter financially viable," said Musk in the announcement. "When I initially told this individual she got the job, she asked for a very small salary and then just started apologizing a bunch. Easy savings!"

Sources say multiple questions remain unanswered, like whether the new CEO is an internal hire from the company, how soon she will be taking the reins, and whether she's currently carrying Elon Musk's child.

The name of Twitter's new leader will be announced in the coming weeks.

Babylon Bee subscriber Pete M contributed to this report. If you want to pitch your own headline ideas to our staff, click here to check out all of our membership options!

Kyle Mann was just minding his own business, when- BOOP! A wild Gender Fairy appeared!

Subscribe to our YouTube channel for more tactical instruction


There are 80 comments on this article.

You must signup or login to view or post comments on this article.