SACRAMENTO, CA—It happened again. While government officials at the California State Capitol were going about their business, employees noticed someone was turning the economy off and on again at a rapid and obnoxious rate.
"Gavin!" shouted one administrator. "Stop playing with that switch! How many times do you have to be told, it is not a toy!"
Newsom did not immediately respond, but his hand, still hovering over the switch, flipped it again.
"Mister, if you do that one more time you are going on timeout! People have actual work to do," Newsom was warned.
With a wily look in his eye, Newsom grabbed the switch and began flipping it on and off like a strobe light, giggling uncontrollably. He was promptly told to sit in the timeout corner until he could learn to cooperate.
Newsom cried for a few minutes then began shouting, "I'm a good boy now. I'm sorry. I'm a good boy now," over and over again. When he was not immediately responded to he began kicking the wall and screaming.
At press time Newsom had been warned that if he did not shape up, he would be going to bed without a treat tonight.
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