COSTA MESA, CA — In what was sure to be a blow to street vendors across the nation, the country's leading provider announced that fruit cart insurance would no longer cover destruction from car chases.
Long at risk of being demolished by speeding vehicles during urban car chases, fruit carts were now rendered vulnerable to total loss in the event that they were suddenly caught in the path of oncoming automobiles.
"We just can't provide that type of coverage after so many incidents," said Ray Flanders, founder and CEO of Ray's Fruit Cart Insurance Emporium. "It used to come as part of our standard coverage package, but we ended up having to pay out for it too often. It really is amazing how many fruit carts get creamed by vehicles during car chases."
One local fruit cart owner was devastated by the news. "I'll just be a sitting duck out there on the street now," said Paul Appleton, who has operated a fruit cart in town for over 50 years. "All these years, I could at least take comfort in the fact that, should my cart get smashed to toothpicks during a police chase, I'd be covered. Now? I'd be ruined! How am I supposed to sell my fruit under these conditions?"
At publishing time, baker's insurance providers had also announced that they would no longer cover damage to cakes if people's faces were smashed into them when fights break out at weddings.
Do you think you can guess which one is the terrorist?
