EUGENE, OR — Local man Bennett Stenson has become increasingly excited for the new Mario movie after hearing that film critics hated it.
With several professional critics turning in abysmal reviews for The Super Mario Galaxy Movie, Stenson's anticipation grew palpable.
"Wow, this review calls the Mario movie 'soulless, banal drivel.' It must be incredible," said Stenson. "Oh and check this out, the NPR reviewer said that everyone in the theater fell asleep and the movie made him want humanity to go extinct. Man, this is getting me pumped!"
With the first modern installment of Mario coming in at 46/100 on Metacritic, Stenson knew back then he was in for a treat. "It was awesome. Having kids, I don't have as much time for movies -- so it's really nice when critics agree that a movie is terrible so that I know to go watch it," said Stenson. "When that number drops low on Rotten Tomatoes, that's when you call the babysitter for a night out."
At publishing time, Stenson had felt grateful to have seen such glowing reviews for One Battle After Another so he knew not to waste his time.
California transplants Steve and Timpani try to be the perfect Texas hosts for Brittuni's visit, but Steve quickly realizes he needs a sensible vehicle now that he's about to become a dad.
