MORRISTOWN, NJ — Drug manufacturer Bayer announced this week that they are releasing their popular Flintstones vitamins with added Ozempic to help slim down fat kids.
"This has been a long time coming," Bayer spokesman Scott Thomspon said. "For far too long, fat kids have plagued our country. Now, with an easy pop of one of our vitamins, these chubs can slim down in no time. No more awkward comments from Grandma, no more bullying, no more being known for doing the Truffle Shuffle."
Thompson said the chewable gummy vitamins taste great and help fat kids lose weight right away. The nation's obesity epidemic has hit kids and youth hard, with one in five kids under the age of 18 reportedly overweight.
"If you feed your darling little son Twinkies for breakfast and you're all out of ideas on how to slim him down, grab a bottle of our Finstones chewable gummies with Ozemipic and he'll be skinny in no time!" Thompson explained. "Try our new flavor, Slim Berry! Now with added calcium for strong bones."
At publishing time, your mom had eaten the entire bottle.
Congress is preparing to make some big changes!
