BATON ROUGE, LA — A local fish was absolutely humiliated after being caught by a six-year-old girl wielding a flimsy pink princess rod.
"I'll never live this down," said Gary the fish as he swam away in shame. "How did I not see that coming?"
According to sources, six-year-old Madelyn was reeling in her slice of hot dog when she felt a slight tug on the line. "Daddy! Fishy fishy!" shouted Madelyn, jumping up and down. "Aww look at him! He looks so sad! Can we eat him??"
As Madelyn's dad pulled poor Gary off the hook, Gary took stock of his surroundings. "You've got to be kidding me," said Gary as he surveyed the princess pole. "Yup, that's a princess pole. Oh man, that girl is tiny. Please, big man, just go ahead and filet me. The boys in the pond are never going to let me hear the end of this."
At publishing time, Gary was wondering where this delicious new slice of hot dog floating in front of him had come from.
Citing concerns about stiff competition from Amazon and an impossible-to-please Gen Z, Santa has announced he's hanging up the hat for good.
