Feminist Church Debuts Anti-Manspreading Pews

NASHUA, NH—A progressive, feminist church in New Hampshire has debuted what its head pastor is calling "perhaps the greatest innovation in Christendom in the past decade": pews that prevent men from "manspreading" during the service.

The pews force men to sit inside small wooden partitions, making it impossible for them to let their legs naturally fall a little wider than women's.

"Now men won't be able to manspread, which is an aggressive assault on a woman," said Pastor Lisa Lydell. "Now we can all concentrate on our inspiring Sunday morning lessons drawn from my experiences and definitely not from Scripture."

The pastor also said she will be going around the room as she preaches, pouring bleach on the pants of any man who dares to manspread during the service.

"This will show the toxic patriarchy that we mean business," she said.

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