Church
Feminist Church Debuts Anti-Manspreading Pews

NASHUA, NH—A progressive, feminist church in New Hampshire has debuted what its head pastor is calling "perhaps the greatest innovation in Christendom in the past decade": pews that prevent men from "manspreading" during the service.

The pews force men to sit inside small wooden partitions, making it impossible for them to let their legs naturally fall a little wider than women's.

"Now men won't be able to manspread, which is an aggressive assault on a woman," said Pastor Lisa Lydell. "Now we can all concentrate on our inspiring Sunday morning lessons drawn from my experiences and definitely not from Scripture."

The pastor also said she will be going around the room as she preaches, pouring bleach on the pants of any man who dares to manspread during the service.

"This will show the toxic patriarchy that we mean business," she said.

Get Free Access To Our Brand New Site: Not the Bee

After creating The Babylon Bee in six literal days, Adam Ford rested. But he rests no longer. Introducing Not the Bee — a brand new humor-based news site run by Adam himself. It's loaded with funny content and all the best features of a social network. And the best part? Everyone with a subscription to The Bee gets full access at no extra cost.

Get FREE Access

*with premium subscription to The Babylon Bee

There is 1 comment on this article.

You must become a premium subscriber or login to view or post comments on this article.