WEST PALM BEACH, FL — As the investigation into the second assassination attempt on former President Donald Trump continued, the Federal Bureau of Investigation said we may never know the motivation of the would-be assassin who was a Biden-Harris supporter and donated to Democrats 20 times.
Sources within the FBI said the mystery had thus far proved to be too complex to unravel, as agents scoured the shooter's extensive social media post history condemning Trump and his long track record of giving money to Democratic political causes in search of any sign of what may have motivated his attack.
"We're just as puzzled as everyone else," said Special Agent Dirk Burbon at a press briefing on the investigation. "Though there has been widespread speculation that this attempted assassination was politically motivated, the suspect and his well-documented history of hating Mr. Trump and supporting Democrat causes have thus far given no indication of that being the case."
Investigators urged caution, telling the American people not to rush to judgment. "Let us do our work here," Special Agent Burbon continued. "This is not the time for rash action or jumping to conclusions. Sometimes a suspect's motive to commit a crime is obvious. Other times, despite an abundance of clues that give a clear-cut explanation for their actions, you're left never knowing the truth. Some cases just aren't ever meant to be solved, ya know?"
At publishing time, FBI insiders revealed agents were hard at work trying to determine if the large neon sign flashing "I'M GOING TO KILL DONALD TRUMP" the shooter installed outside his home had any meaning.
DOGE is here, and Elon and Vivek will eliminate millions of government positions