NASHVILLE, TN—After weeks on end being harrassed by his kids and wife, local father Seth Atley finally had a spare moment to play video games last night. He plopped down on the couch, fired up his favorite first-person shooter on his Xbox, and got to spend a full 15 minutes downloading patches before a child screamed somewhere in the house.
"Sometimes you just need to get by yourself, fire up the Xbox, and download 80 gigs of patches," he said as he turned the console back off and went downstairs to see which kid got hurt. "It's a great way to recharge the ol' batteries."
Atley hasn't actually gotten to play a video game in years, since every time he gets a few spare minutes, he spends the whole time downloading patches, updates, and fixes. But he knows that one of these days, he'll have a fully up-to-date game, and he'll get to spend at least a minute or two getting shot by 13-year-olds before he is called away to do something dumb like "chores" or "saving his kid from falling off a cupboard."
Fortunately, his Call of Duty installation is now 100% up to date, so he'll be ready for next time. Unfortunately, he won't get to play for another three weeks, at which point another 160 gigabytes of updates will be waiting for him.
Breaking: PayPal Now Available
Many of you told us you wouldn't subscribe until we offered PayPal as a payment option. You apparently weren't bluffing, so we finally caved and added PayPal. Now — like the unbeliever faced with God's invisible qualities displayed in nature — you are without excuse.