MOULTONBOROUGH, NH — To make the most of the Thanksgiving holiday, the Richardson family reportedly instituted helpful debate rules allowing for 2-minute speeches followed by a 1-minute rebuttal.
"We have to have order, people," Henry Richardson said. "No shouting over people, or you're not getting any dessert."
According to sources, pre-planned debate topics for the Richardson family Thanksgiving include, but are not limited to, the American school system, January 6, and cranberry sauce. Strangely missing from the family's planned discourse is a debate on transgenderism, owing in large part to the fact that cousin Freddie's new name is Francesca.
Heather Richardson, who has no intention of debating any topics, will serve as moderator to the rest of the family. The kids' table will serve as judges, forcing speakers to dumb down their language for two-year-old Susie Richardson.
The family will reportedly employ the British Parliamentary debate format, where speakers are scored by judges each round based on individual performance and placement. Total points allotted will determine who advances through the topics to eventually argue about Mormonism.
At publishing time, Uncle Chester had been docked points in the debate on Tucker Carlson for invoking the "Jews Control Everything" fallacy.
Heartwarming!
