Christian Living Church
Family Carefully Times Trip To Church To Miss Opening Worship Set

WOOD GROVE, OR—The Ryder family carefully timed their trip to church this Sunday so they would arrive late, but not too late -- just tardy enough to miss the opening worship set, and slip in for the sermon.

"The trick is to slip in just as the band is finishing up their last bridge-chorus loop," said family patriarch Jim Ryder. "Then, you get to hear the Word of God, but you don't have to suffer through the big concert part of the service."

The dim mood lighting of their church's worship experience allows the two of them to slip in under cover of darkness and be clearly visible when the pastor looks out at the congregation to deliver his message.

To achieve this impeccable timing every Sunday, the family gets up at precisely 8:37, takes two hours and 17 minutes to get the four of them ready, drives through a nearby Starbucks, parks in the overflow lot, walks slowly into the building, drops the kids off at Sunday school, and then slips into their favorite seats in the back left of the worship center at Cornerstone Bible Grace Fellowship.

"Nailed it," said Chandra Ryder as she fist-bumped her husband. "Like absolute clockwork."

At publishing time, the couple was seen slipping out during the closing worship song.

There are 51 comments on this article.

You must become a premium subscriber or login to view or post comments on this article.