WASHINGTON, D.C. — Republican strategists reassured voters this week that polls for the upcoming midterm elections only appear bad for the GOP if you look at them.
Although recent surveys suggest Republicans could be in for a shellacking, party officials reiterated that the data isn't so bad if you don't read it.
"Just this morning, six more polls came out from conservative outlets showing that we're in trouble. But after throwing those polls in the trash, everything looks good," explained GOP operative Roger Millican. "When someone tries to update me on where we're at in Texas, I just close my eyes and start making siren noises. So far, it's working."
Though polls notoriously underestimate Republican support, the results have looked significantly worse than usual heading into the midterm elections. "Admittedly, these papers with the poll results do look bleak, but only until you set them on fire," said County Party Chair Max Bennett. "Whoa, look at the smoke. Smells good. See, nothing to worry about."
At publishing time, GOP officials had reported that their new strategy was also working wonders on the national debt.
Tucker Carlson is just asking questions about World War 2. Why was it even fought? Was Hitler really such a bad guy? And why did Churchill never denounce the trans agenda?
