Sports
Experts Recommend Nation Just Chill Out, Maybe Play A Little Disc Golf

U.S.—At a time when the nation is at each other’s throats almost constantly, psychiatric experts across the country have begun to recommend that everyone in the country just take a deep breath, try to chill out, and maybe go out and play a little disc golf once in a while.

Academic studies have shown that a relaxing sport like disc golf can help pull you back from the brink of despair after a long day reading more bleak news reports and arguing with other people online.

“Log off Facebook and Twitter, pick up an affordable disc at your local sporting goods store, and go let loose with some monster drives,” said Dr. Peter McBerth of Harvard’s sociology department. “Bring along your stereo and bump a little Bob Marley or Sublime, toss some plastic around, and have a great time.”

McBerth reminded the nation that you don’t need to be a skilled player or invest a lot of money in discs to head on down to your local public disc golf course and sink some beautiful putts into the chains. “Most everyone out at the disc golf course is really welcoming and won’t immediately start screaming at you if you have slightly different opinions than they do. It’s chill, yo.”

While a few experts recommended bringing along a hacky sack and playing a few rounds of HORSE or PIG, everyone agreed that no matter what, you need to get off the internet for the soothing nature of disc golf to work its magic.