Experts Now Recommend Taking Up Vaping To Increase Social Distance

U.S.—Health experts have been recommending we all stay six feet away from each other, but that can be hard to accomplish. It's natural and human to want to socialize with people. But a new study suggests there is one surefire way to increase social distancing: taking up vaping.

According to a new study, people are much more likely to socially distance themselves from you if you're puffing some phat vape clouds.

"Our data shows that vaping is more effective than any other method," said Dr. Hank Cloud of MIT. "Even vapers really don't want to hang out with other vapers. Just bust out your vape pen and start puffing away, and you'll find those around you will give you well over six feet of space."

"Wow, this really works great!" said one man in Des Moines as he pulled out his vape pen and everyone around him slowly edged away. "I think I'm going to start using this for church greeting times, too."

Other strategies that are similarly effective include asking if anyone wants to play one of your designer board games, talking about Star Trek, and wearing an Antifa T-shirt. But, experts say, vaping is still the preferred method for anyone who wants to get a little social distance from everyone around them.

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