Experts Believe Aaron Rodgers Ankle Injury A Result Of Being Unvaccinated
Sports · Sep 12, 2023 ·

NEW YORK, NY — After the devastating reports came out that star New York Jets quarterback Aaron Rodgers had suffered what is suspected to be a season-ending injury to his Achilles tendon, experts immediately expressed belief that the injury was a result of Rodgers being unvaccinated.

"Taking the vaccine would have likely prevented this," said Dr. Arthur MacArthur, a sports physician who has never treated Rodgers. "Research that we just came up with a few moments ago indicates there is a new COVID-19 variant that specifically attacks tendons and ligaments, particularly in the ankle. So Aaron Rodgers, due to his unvaccinated state, clearly came down with a sudden case of what we are referring to, as of right now, ‘COVID ankle.'"

The excitement around the Jets had grown to a fevered pitch this offseason after the team acquired Rodgers, a Super Bowl winner and 4-time MVP, from Green Bay. The Jets made the move against the advice of members of the scientific community, who argued Rodgers's mere unvaccinated presence would likely result in the death of the entire team. "He has not been vaccinated against the virus everyone has received protection from," said one concerned scientist. "This obviously puts the protected people at severe risk from the person who isn't protected. It's science."

At publishing time, the Jets vowed to press onward, despite the setback. "We lost the guy who gave us any realistic chance of having a great season," said Head Coach Robert Saleh. "But at least we won't have to spend all day, every day around someone who dares to be unvaccinated."

By now the whole internet has heard Ben Shapiro rapping, but did you know that there are actually two more verses they cut out of the track?

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