U.S. — Liberal protesters have taken to the streets to protest the U.S. government's arrest of Nicolás Maduro by quickly switching their "NO KINGS" signs to instead read "YES KINGS."
"Yes kings! We love kings now!" cried thousands of passionate paid protestors across the country. "Every Latin American nation has the inalienable right to a brutal king who rules them with an iron fist! Yes, kings! Yes, kings! Yes, kings!"
Organizers say they hope the movement will inspire more "Yes Kings" demonstrations around the world. "Having a king is a fundamental value of a liberal democracy," said one organizer, reading off a card he had been given to help him know what to say. "Anyone who tries to free a foreign nation from a king in violation of international law is a literal fascist. It says so clearly right here on this card."
Protestors have promised to remain protesting in the streets every day until their marching orders change, or until the paychecks stop coming.
At publishing time, protestors had received orders to change their "YES KINGS" signs to read "YES AYATOLLAH KHAMENEI"
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