Scripture
Evidence Confirms New Testament Was Originally Written In Papyrus Font

ISRAEL—A newly discovered original manuscript of the New Testament, dated to the First Century, was written entirely in the popular Papyrus font, sources confirmed Wednesday.

The manuscript was written entirely in English, in the King James Version (obviously). It's the earliest known New Testament fragment, featuring a portion of the gospel of Matthew.

"This is fascinating," said one scholar at the dig site. "We knew that documents written in Papyrus looked more ancient and legit, but now we know why: Papyrus was the chosen font of the gospel writers. This changes all of our assumptions about good font choices."

Church secretaries everywhere say they have been vindicated by the discovery.

"I always had a love for Papyrus," said Betty Oliver, 85, church secretary at Firecracker Church in Des Moines. "I use it for our potluck fliers, the overhead transparencies, and the church bulletin. It just looks like a real ancient document. It's great to know the New Testament writers were also down with the times."

At publishing time, scholars had also discovered an early, 19th-century copy of the Book of Mormon written in Comic Sans.

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