HOLLYWOOD, CA — While Peter Jackson's stirring movies have become one of the most popular film adaptations of any book series in history, film critics and fans alike are raving about an even better adaptation of the Lord of the Rings which is just an old British guy reading the books out loud for 56 hours.
While the remake is missing a few iconic scenes, such as heroes breaking their toes on helmets, the film has been almost universally hailed as "the best possible adaptation, probably ever."
"I love the old movies, don't get me wrong," said Dan Ferguson, a cigar enthusiast and Lord of the Rings aficionado. "But this new adaptation blows Peter Jackson right out of the water. The only better way to do this would be to get St. Tolkien himself to read them — and he's singing with the angels above, so we'll have to wait on that until heaven."
The trailer has caused many across the United States to instantly faint of sheer heartthrob, as the combination of a suave, pipe-smoking British dude dressed to the nines and Tolkien's masterful writing is nearly irresistible.
"It's like pure grace," Ferguson commented.
At publishing time, children across the United States had been overjoyed to find out that a similar adaptation of the Chronicles of Narnia was also coming out soon.
There's lots to be thankful for, libs!