WACO, TX—The Jacobs family has decided that they no longer need that old, distressed wooden sign taking up space in the kitchen that says ‘GATHER’. The only problem is that the Jacobs family has now gone weeks without gathering together to spend time with one another preparing, and eating meals.
Young Aiden Jacobs thought it was a good idea to toss out the ‘silly’, and ‘pointless’ kitchen decorations. “Why did this ever become a thing?” he said. “My parents are so cringe.”
“I know there’s something I need to be doing right now, but I just don’t know what it is!” said Aiden’s father Brock. “What am I supposed to do here anyway? Sleep? Shower? Organize my tools? If only there was a sign!”
“I prepared a delicious meal for the whole family, but now what happens next?” said Madesin Jacobs. “I’m absolutely starving, but I can’t eat until the whole family is here. Speaking of, I haven’t seen my family in weeks! It’s like they’ve all forgotten how to come downstairs and eat.”
Experts also expressed concern about increased global conflict and unrest as more people are throwing away their ‘LIVE, LAUGH, LOVE’ signs.