WHITE MARSH, MD—Pastor Lyle Killackey is known for his gentle spirit, solid preaching, and love for the church.
But the typically quiet man almost instantly transformed into a great burning ball of rage upon exiting the sanctuary after service Sunday and spotting the women of the church selling each other various products in the church foyer.
"Be gone from here, doers of evil!" Killackey bellowed, frightening small children and sending congregants scurrying out of the lobby. "You have turned my Father's house into a den of overpriced clothing, oils, and makeup sold through a pyramid-scheme-like distribution model!"
The preacher then stormed toward one table in front of a terrified LuLaRoe representative and flipped it end over end, launching dozens of piles of stretchy, comfortable leggings and long, patterned skirts into the air.
Hastily fashioning a whip out of various colors of leggings, the pastor then drove other sobbing MLM representatives from the foyer, according to witnesses, before stationing himself at the church's entrance and shoeing away any multi-level marketing representatives that attempted to carry their goods into the building.
Get Free Access To Our Brand New Site: Not the Bee
After creating The Babylon Bee in six literal days, Adam Ford rested. But he rests no longer. Introducing Not the Bee — a brand new humor-based news site run by Adam himself. It's loaded with funny content and all the best features of a social network. And the best part? Everyone with a subscription to The Bee gets full access at no extra cost.