SAN FRANCISCO, CA — Elon Musk claimed his $44 billion purchase of Twitter was to fight for free speech and turn the social media company profitable. But after Musk showed up at Twitter headquarters this week carrying a sink all so he could say "Let that sink in," he's admitted the purchase was all just an elaborate dad joke that cost him billions.
Experts say it was the most expensive dad joke in history.
"I was thinking it'd be funny to walk into a company I just bought and bring a sink in," Musk told reporters. "Because then I could say, 'Let that sink in' or maybe 'I'm giving it my all - everything and the kitchen sink.' That last one needs some workshopping. But you get the idea."
Musk then reportedly started looking for companies he could buy and decided Twitter would be high profile enough so that many people would be able to see and enjoy his dad joke. "It wouldn't be worth buying some small company and bringing a sink in, because then only a few hundred million people would take notice and laugh at this classic gag. It would be too remote to be an effective demonstration."
"Yeah, I could have spent a little less. But you gotta go big. Do it for the joke," Musk said. "Maybe next time I'll buy Facebook for $300 billion or something. Then I'll build three wells outside their door. They'll open the door and I'll jump out and say, 'Well, well, well.' Ha, classic. Hey Edgar, can you give Zuckerberg a call?"
Dads across the country praised Musk's commitment to the joke, saying, "Classic!" and "Nice one, bro!"
Citing concerns about stiff competition from Amazon and an impossible-to-please Gen Z, Santa has announced he's hanging up the hat for good.
