Dog Checks Democrat Owner Into Therapy After Traumatic 4th Of July Fireworks Show
Local ยท Jul 5, 2021

NEW YORK CITY, NY - According to sources, Sammy, a local Beagle, has checked his progressive owner Carl Sphincter into therapy for post-traumatic stress after last night's fireworks show.

Witnesses say the show featured excessive displays of patriotism, flag-waving, and rockets' red glare, which caused Sammy's liberal owner to run and hide under his bed and whimper for several hours.

"Look at all this American pride, even though America is on stolen land and minorities are still oppressed!" said Sphincter, according to a close family member. "Every explosion is like a big 'white supremacy bomb' in the sky! And they're loud and scary!"

He then tweeted angrily about how awful America is and then wet his pants.

In related news, another dog named Bullitt also checked his Trump-supporting owner into therapy after he read Sphincter's anti-American tweet.


There are 85 comments on this article.

You must signup or login to view or post comments on this article.