‘Don't Worry About Gas Prices!’ Says Biden From Presidential War Rig
Politics · Mar 8, 2022 · BabylonBee.com

WASHINGTON, D.C - President Joe Biden has announced that the U.S. will be banning all oil and gas from Russia. The President stated that this should not be a cause for any panic and not to worry about gas prices while he got in what appeared to be a heavy war rig.

"C'mon folks, don't be ridiculous. Gas prices are nothing to worry about," said Biden putting on his battle armor and firing up the massive machine. "You've been watching too much news if you think we're about to be in some kind of apocalyptic fuel crisis!"

"And who needs Russian oil anyway - I think we're doing just fine aren't we boys?!" said Biden slapping his 30ft oil tanker causing his secret servicemen to rev their engines and shout wildly.

Journalists report that the President then embarked from the White House along with his train of road warriors driving their menacing-looking, suped-up monster cars and dirt bikes. "We ride men! To GLORY!" shouted the President. "We live! We die! We live again!"

At publishing time the President, who was reportedly now referring to himself as Immortan Joe, was spotted on the freeway plowing through traffic with his war convoy shouting, "WITNESS ME! WITNESS ME!"


Check out Hasbro's latest update to the classic board game "Guess Who?" - now with more genders, inclusion, and fun!* *Fun not guaranteed

Subscribe to our YouTube channel for more tactical instruction

Ready to join the conversation? Subscribe today.

Access comments and our fully-featured social platform.

Sign up Now

You must signup or login to view or post comments on this article.