VATICAN CITY — Seated inside a fortress with 40-foot walls and surrounded by Swiss guards, Pope Leo XIV cautioned the rest of the world's population not to fear mass Islamic migration.
After condemning anyone opposed to their country being overrun by Muslims, the pope then ordered the doors of the Vatican sealed as he hopped into his bulletproof car.
"You must lovingly accept anyone into your country, even if they want very much to kill you," explained the Supreme Pontiff. "Do not put up high walls to protect yourself. Do not close yourself in a church with others like yourself. Welcome everyone, regardless of whether they are hell-bent on establishing Sharia law and outlawing Christianity. I say to the Muslim people: you are welcome in Spain, England, everywhere. Now close the gates, guards. Quickly."
According to witnesses, some of the faithful expressed hesitation, questioning if loving Muslim people with Christ's love really meant that they could not also oppose mass migration. "But Your Holiness," said a nearby Cardinal. "What if we love and pray for the conversion of the Muslim people, and would gladly welcome a Muslim family into our home, but only wish to uphold the goods of Christian culture?"
"To that, I say this, my brother," responded the pope. "You have just earned a transfer to the Diocese of Siberia."
At publishing time, Pope Leo XIV had warned against using violence to fight back against Islamic terrorist regimes that murder tens of thousands of protesters.
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