Disaster After Trump Announces He Has Already Declassified Area 51 In His Mind
U.S. · Sep 22, 2022 · BabylonBee.com

MAR-A-LAGO, FL — The top-secret military base Area 51 is being overrun by curious visitors this morning after former president Trump announced he had declassified the installation in his mind several years ago.

"Yes, yes, I totally declassified Area 51, completely and totally. In my mind I did it," said Trump in a recent interview with Sean Hannity. "The President, which I was, and some would stay still am, can totally do that. Other presidents were too afraid to open up Area 51, but not me. It's my executive privilege. You're welcome!"

Reports on location indicate that thousands have already gathered in the desert to enter the newly declassified base. "I'm gonna see them aliens!" said one enthusiastic local. "Thanks, President Trump!"

Trump pushed back against critics who claim that he has no authority to just declare he secretly declassified a military base and open it up years after the fact. "Those critics are losers," said Trump. "I've seen the aliens. They're boring. Little green people. No big deal. Declassified, folks!"

At publishing time, the Biden Administration was scrambling to react after Trump announced he had also declassified Ashley Biden's diary.

Here is a comprehensive list of the only instances it is acceptable for men to shed a tear.

Subscribe to our YouTube channel for more tactical instruction


There are 69 comments on this article.

You must signup or login to view or post comments on this article.